Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
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