Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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