I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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