Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
