After last night, I could never be a politician.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
