I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
