Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
