guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
