Duck Duck Cougar?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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