What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
