Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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