I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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