No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
