Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
