i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
