He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
