i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
