I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
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