She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
