i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
