I am puke
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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