Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
