I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
