That's intense
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
