There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
