what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
