Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Success! We fucked roommates!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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