Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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