were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
