i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
