Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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