That's intense
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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