Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
