Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
