hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
