Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
