More tranny stories later!
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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