He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
she peed on how many people?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
