Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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