i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i came on her dog
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
