I'm eating all of the evidence.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
