I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
