I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
