im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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