weddingsv make me drug and hornr
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
