You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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