she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
did you just send me my own nude
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
