Quick, to the slutcave!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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