before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Randomize
