i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Ladies don't puke and tell
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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