WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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