dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
