you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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