I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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