He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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