i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
