Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
