I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
