her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
