her facebook's as public as her vagina
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
