god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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