The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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