neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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