im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
organizing the empties. That sober.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
