do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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