he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Terrible idea I love it
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
