Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
