she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
