i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
