Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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