I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
