I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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