my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
