4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
