HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
