I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize