I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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