Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
