all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Text me some of your sweat
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