I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize