how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
